u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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