im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
