wakey wakey hands off snakey
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
