my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize