Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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