Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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