Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it glows. i had to have it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
