sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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