We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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