you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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