brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
