how can u be prego again
Screwed.edu
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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