is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
