sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
