She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
