But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm jealous of your bromance
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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