i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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