Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
