Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
