I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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