dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize