Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
