and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
