i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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