Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
