Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
