I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We need a shit load of segways right now
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
