I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
