and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
