Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
