Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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