her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
