Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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