it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
