Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize