I don't usually arrange sex via text message
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
