You're so nebulous sometimes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize