I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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