Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
