i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
