The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Found the puke drawer
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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