this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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