WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
