Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
