everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
