Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
