But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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