now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He passed out mid-signature
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize