I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
