just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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