So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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