I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize