It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
