ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize