tell your sister to shave her snatch
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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