All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize