can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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