That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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