It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
