it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
