After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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