My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
